Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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