Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
