Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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