At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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