just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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