How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
