her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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