ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
false alarm, still single
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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