He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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