so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need to stop coming to work sober
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
