just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
