And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
