I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
