super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
