Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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