i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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