Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
