it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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