I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
