She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
