my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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