So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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