ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
