i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
