He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
