that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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