The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
