i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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