If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
