just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
