1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
