Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
