ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
