his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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