So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
