hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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