We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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