If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
