You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
