Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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