There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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