so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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