hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
