Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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