Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
where am i from again
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
