I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
only if we run a train.
done.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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