He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
