Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
