I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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