I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
