i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
