tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
